kind of a brag

"i want you to know you, my dear friend, changed my life. seeing you living in your own unconventional way without apology, with pride and love showed me i did not have to follow rules but decide what was best for me and what i believed."

I got this in an email today. I felt proud of myself and I cried for reasons I haven't sorted out yet and will leave for my own examination.

This is what I wish I could impart to everybody. and I am glad that my scorecard at least says 1.
Life is so short. Don't let false notions of should, shame and guilt rob you of your truth. Live in integrity with who you are. This is not to say, don't give a shit what anyone thinks. That is not possible. But living in your own integrity is really the only path that will satisfy you. This is what I try to give to my sex clients but alas it gets stickier. Their true sexuality needs expression. Let me facilitate that. When they are married, it is the option that satisfies both partners. The wife gets to not participate and he does. The only glitch is he has to lie and lying feels guilty. But he says he has to lie. He has not experimented with telling the truth because he "knows" the outcome. That is a scary experiment to enact. I think confession is not the best approach. A conversation that begins with, I am not feeling satisfied wholly in our relationship, would give each partner space to express their position to each other.
Why or is it even true that women especially after marriage want sex less than their male counterparts or less experimental sex if that? Through my observation, this seems to occur with frequency. Women resist giving sex. I wonder if it is the relationship that makes them tangled in other stronger feelings like distrust, resentments, inequality of work especially in the home. It feels like another chore to engage.
I remember back in my 20"s deciding that I wouldn't have sex so that men couldn't get an opportunity to hurt my feelings by rejecting me afterwards. That worked for awhile until I had an aggressive man kinda coerce me. When his cock entered me, I was like, "oh yeah this feels good. I'll let it continue." The end of that relationship was painful. I wasn't rejected, but I felt taken advantage of. But then I had the opportunity to examine how I let myself be taken advantage of and fix my behaviors to not allow a repeat performance. Not that there weren't repeat performances. How many times do we watch the same movie before recognizing it is the same movie? My answer is many.
There were many times in my pre adult life that what I felt and wanted was at odds with how my family felt and wanted. I started young fighting for myself. I felt that I had an innate right to my individuality. That is probably my best characteristic.